I know some people in life who are so willing to work hard, not just giving straight up labour, but being responsible for things. (My oldest brother is one of these people for sure. He's so bossy.) They thrive under pressure, and give all that they need to for the job to get done right. I am not one of these people. Responsibility is awesome in that it shows someone is willing to entrust something to me, but I really can't say I seek it out or THRIVE with it.
Money, to me, is just one large tiring responsibility.
I do a devotional reading every day, and there is a different theme for every week of the year, so one week was encouragement, another relationships, and so on. A few weeks back the theme was money, and on day one I literally thought, "Well, I don't really need this since Ted does all of our finances anyway." (In the big picture sense.) Day three of that week, we get a call that says that Ted will be going away for work until late in the summer. I would, therefore, be the one managing and steering our family finances. One thing, I did not feel at that point, was thriving. But I can tell you, I soaked up every word of every day's reading for the rest of the week.
I don't know why I'm so terrified, because I know I am equipped to do the job, and I can reach out to Ted if I have a question or concern. Part of me is afraid I might steer my family wrong, or undo all the good things my husband has worked hard putting in place. (In this scenario we would have no savings, but I would have a killer wardrobe.) Mostly right now I feel like staying very, very still. Literally, still. In this scenario if I don't do ANYTHING, I can't possibly rock the boat or mess up in any way, shape, or form.
It occurs to me though in writing out all these thoughts that the ideal position would be seeing what I can make better. How can I improve on the terrific job Ted has done. What NEW ideas can I implement that adds a new dynamic to our family finances? Because as much as a strong leader is a very good thing, a strong team is even better. I've prayed lots that I stay on track and make good decisions with the blessings we have.
And I love you Andrew, despite all the teasing. :)